Having time to stand and stare :)

It has been about 7 years since I started writing this blog. Yes, time flies.

I started this blog to write about all the things I did, I saw, I experienced which were non-work related - when I decided to take a break from my advertising career. Ironically I have yet again decided to take a break, after almost 7 years. Almost a 7 year itch I guess, to get out of the job.

I had reached this mental state where all I could hear were cars honking, and the noise of traffic. My office was a bit off from the centre of the city and in a location where the traffic was horrible. It used to take me almost 2 hours or more to reach office on a bad day (on a good day I would take about an hour) - so I was spending 3-4 hours commuting to and from office each day! The dust, pollution, noise of cars honking, angry drivers abusing each other and of cars screeching and inching along - it became so horrible that I was close to depression at the sheer thought of going to work.

Apparently I used to take an hour to get out of the hangover of the traffic.

It has just been a week since I have stopped going through that traffic. I already feel better.

I feel like I have regained some sanity. I feel I am re-learning the art of enjoying my days. I can actually feel time and do one thing for a longer time. I have 'the time to stand beneath the boughs and stare as long as sheep and cow' :)

I do not lose focus now. I do not have the mad rush to go on from one task to another. I do not feel the day ending without really knowing what I did. I do not feel like I am skipping from one place to another, floating without really touching and knowing anything in particular. I feel I can touch the ground now, and know exactly where I am and what I am doing.

I love this state.

And I love this poem I learnt in school.

Leisure - By W.H.Davies

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Getting close through letters

Watched two movies which were similar in some random ways.

'The Lunchbox' and 'Mary & Max'.

In both the movies two extremely different characters end up writing letters to each other and end up getting close to each other. So close that they decide to spend their lives together. Both the movies do not finally show them getting together, but the intention is established. 

Muffins and Cakes

An oven that was gifted to me, sat in our kitchen, unused, for over 3 months.

I said it was because I fractured my hand, that I did not try my hand at baking yet.

Then I said it was because I was too busy to start baking.

Then I said I would first go for baking lessons before trying it at home on my own.

Finally, I decided that I need to do this and just get started, and accept that I was just scared to bake, because I was pretty sure I would fail at it.

But hey, I tried, and it was not such a big deal.
I can bake now.
It tastes just fine. Sometimes even better than that, it tastes really great.

Now I experiment with different kinds of cakes - I have already done a simple chocolate cake, some apple cinnamon muffins, and chocolate banana cakes.

I am still experimenting. Hope to bake way more in the coming days...

Sanskrit Lessons

For the past one year almost I have been learning the basics of Sanskrit, through a distance learning course.

I have finished 11 of the 13 modules for the course.

These are just baby steps in learning this great language, hopefully I will complete this basic course, and enroll for an advanced course at some point of time. 

The Love and The Evil that The Mind is capable of...

Recently watched a few movies that explored the beautiful vulnerabilities of relationships, the strength and the flaws, the sacrifices and the betrayals. You just cannot stop pondering about how amazing relationships are despite the greys, the evil intentions, the passion that destroys and the commitments that constrain.

The art auctioneer who gets smitten by an heiress who apparently suffers from a strange condition where she fears to appear in front of people - The Best Offer.

A Cuban piano player who follows the extremely successful therefore unattainable love of his life right through his life, to finally unite with her in their old age - Chico & Rita.

A happily married Carl Jung breaks the rules of doctor-patient relationships and indulges in an affair with Sabrina Spielrein who moves from patient to lover to pscyhoanalyst finally training under Sigmund Freud, whose ideas are opposed to those of Jung. - A Dangerous Method.

A depressed murders her husband while sleepwalking, which she claims is a side effect of the anti-depressant drug she was prescribed by her psychiatrist, who later realises that she never did take them, but that the whole act was an evil ploy. - Side Effects.

Sinister ploys, some... tales of romance, others... but all that the mind is capable of in the name of or under the pretext of love. 

Pallavi Anupallavi

In my days of watching Mani Ratnam movies back to back, I somehow had skipped his very first movie - Pallavi Anupallavi - a Kannada movie starring Anil Kapoor, Lakshmi and Kiran.

The fact that he has chosen a complex and mature theme that probably would have not gone down well with the traditional audiences, shows that he was a director who would change the way movies were. The title is perfectly apt for the the plot involving one uncomplicated relationship, and one complicated relationship that could have been avoided.

He has joined hands with some of the best in the industry - Ilaiyaraja, Balu Mahendra and B. Lenin, to produce a movie that is intense, deep, beautiful and at the same time extremely soothing, like a great song. 

Widows in the eyes of Bapsi Sidhwa/ Deepa Mehta

Read Bapsi Sidhwa's Water.
It takes you back to another era, and you wonder how different things were.

One of the few occasions where you notice that the book is based on the movie (in this case Water, by Deepa Mehta), and not the other way around. A simple and quick read but quite moving. This is the last in the Trilogy - Earth, Fire, Water. Somehow it seems like the entire premise would seem more appealing to non-Indians. A bunch of widows in an ashram ranging from 6 to 70, a eunuch, a society believing in traditions and rituals, the advent of Gandhi and the nationalist movement - all intriguing, especially to the foreign audiences.

A book that makes you ponder about the bygone era.

Of Myths and Alcohol

A 2 day workshop conducted by Devdutt Patnaik, renowned mythologist, for United Spirits Limited on Mythmaking and Branding.

The proposition itself sounded like a paradox to me. It just didnt seem to go together. Mythology and Selling Alcohol. Devdutt Patnaik and USL. Agency and Client. Mythologist and Marketers. Deconstruction of Communication Codes and Mythological Narratives as a backdrop.

The first day of the workshop was quite interesting. The kind of stuff that I was interested in hearing. The kind of stuff he was most comfortable with. I enjoyed it thoroughly, especially because I have recently gotten interested in the broad topics he was talking about. Extremely knowledgeable, and even more amazingly simplistic in his explanation. He makes his thought flow seem so seamless that even a child could understand what he is talking about. It all made perfect sense.

After reading his books on Vishnu, Shiva, Devi, Myth = Mithya and Jaya, I have now decided to read more of his books. 

The second day, as I had feared, and as is the case with other such eminent personalities who have tried to club such topics with branding, was a let down. There was not much that was helpful for any branding professional. There was not much that was giving us a direction to follow or any paths to explore.

Another issue that seems to happen in most such forums where a group exercise happens, is that the place is filled with north indians. Even though we were sitting in a South Indian city, working on a brand that is based out of South India, with a large part of its empire in South India, we still had to depend on North Indian stereotypes and references from Bollywood to understand the social context as well as the category context.
Well anyway, pretty used to it by now.

But I guess Myths are absolutely fascinating, and decoding and simplifying these myths are even more fascinating. The commercial application of the same, well, I guess that is a different story altogether. It falls under the broad term 'Maya'.

Kahlil Gibran verses : one of my all time favourites

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

A movie, a performance, a book...

A Memorable Movie: Memento

A movie that made me stay in the movie much beyond the actual screen time of the movie. Piecing together bits of the puzzle, questioning, answering, solving, requestioning, re-answering, re-solving, feeling intelligent and then feeling dumb all over again. At times questioning whether the movie was really that intelligent after all. But thoroughly enjoyed the process.

A Memorable Performance: Sakhi
An experimental bharatnatyam rendition which stitched together various stories about different kinds of friendship, from around the world, from different eras, from different styles. The dancers and the singers narrated the story as well as performed. They connected with the audience. People across ages could follow every single bit of the performance. A great Saturday morning.

A Memorable Book: The Moor's Last Sigh
A wonderful literary experience that makes you go back and forth, in and out, in time/ of characters and stories. At times flipping back to the initial family tree flowchart till you get thoroughly acquainted with the several characters. For once you dont feel like skimming through the words, because here every word and every phrase seems to deserve your undivided attention. Each sentence is art and each description is beauty.

12 was good. Looking forward to 13

Last year was different. Nice. Interesting. Changed my life, its tone, its pace.

One of my closest friends and I decided to vow to remain the closest companions for life. We had a simple small wedding and we have just about started our journey together.

I realised that personal and professional lives are not necessarily one single seamless whole, but could be compartmentalised for a better living at both places. I used to feel bad if I did not find likeminded people at work, who would understand me, accept me, like me, take care of me, share thoughts and plans with me and become important parts of my life. But now I feel it is better I keep them as two separate pieces. Of the same jigsaw puzzle. If someone comes along who can fit in both, its fine. But if not, I dont necessarily need to panic. So now I have colleagues at work, and friends in life, and life could be wholly beyond office, if need be.

I continue to find out about the story of Colours. I am still fascinated with colour symbolism, colour semiotics or whatever this vague field of interest is known as. I am currently figuring out Colour Symbolism in Buddhism.

Yet another pleasant surprise last year was that I can actually cook, not just to save my life, but also pretty regularly. I have been experimenting a lot in the kitchen. I have successfully gotten over my kitchen fright, and have managed to understand the simplicity in creating dishes.

I travelled to Spain and fell in love with art all over again. I could say there was almost an overdose of Dali, Gaudi, Picasso, Miro, Goya, Velazquez, Tapies and many more. I never imagined that I would go to Spain, especially in winter. Madrid and Barcelona, a very special chapter indeed.

Unlike most other times that I have joined the gym, this time I seem to be more regular. It has not been too long but still, I feel this is the most regular I have ever been so far.

12 was good. Looking forward to 13.

Lotus Sutra

Some years back a friend of mine gave me this book called The Buddha in Your Mirror. She told me to read it if I felt like reading it.

For many weeks I didn’t read it. Then I did. And it helped me a lot. To become a little more calm. To look at things in an objective manner. To not lose my temper. To not blame other things and other people. To take responsibility for what was happening to me.

As days passed by and life went on, I forgot about the book and what the book had to tell me.

I remembered the book only when I was extremely unsettled and upset. I went back to the book and felt better. I read about the Lotus Sutra and about how the lotus can be the cause as well as the effect. I tried to understand yet again, that I am the cause as well as the effect. It was difficult. Indeed it is difficult to take responsibility for everything that goes wrong in your life. It is much easier to blame. To believe that nothing is your fault. To swear that you are a poor helpless soul and wonder why all the horrible things are happening to you. From there, to believe that it is actually because of you. Because you let things happen to you. Because you did not do something about the way things are.

The very few times that I have managed to take responsibility, to decide to take control, to accept my own shortcomings; life has taken wonderful turns, and I was left smiling. 

Genius on Genius

Read a very interesting book on Leonardo da Vinci by Sigmund Freud. Apart from it being an extremely engaging piece of work, it took me back to the works of both these geniuses. I had a long conversation about the book’s hypothesis, about the works of da Vinci and then about Michelangelo, about Renaissance in general. Today I am reading up more about da Vinci.

It is a very small book. To think that people spend so much time in researching about specific topics, however simple or complex it seems, and write books about these topics… interesting. Thank god these geniuses took the pains to write. We would have never got to experience such thoughts ever otherwise…

In the world of Padmarajan

Padmarajan, a malayalam film director, screenplay writer and author. I have rediscovered his work, fortunately. Been watching his movies and spending time with the plots, characters and styles of narratives. Watched about 12 of his movies in the last two months. The stories are invariably about something that you cannot really pinpoint. There are layers to each narrative. Powerful female character, unlike the ones usually depicted in movies of those times. Real emotions, nothing artificial or drastic. Real relationships, real conversations, that which do take place, but are preferably not shown in popular culture.
I keep wondering how he would have come up with the story. Which part of the story would have been the initial trigger. Which character is the central one. Sometimes you cannot even find out which is the central character, or relationship, or conflict.There are many, each one equally faschinating. And there seems to be varying styles of direction or storytelling. Still exploring. Wish he had not died under strange circumstances...we could have had many more of these movies...

midnight in...

its 15 minutes past midnight... and i just finished watching 'midnight in paris', a wonderful movie by woody allen.

i wonder how he could come up with the plots for his movies. absolutely out of the world.

been watching quite a few movies by woody allen lately - the purple rose of cairo, annie hall, manhattan, everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask, a midsummer night's sex comedy... love his movies. didnt like vicky christina barcelona though.

moving on to some other directors...fahrenheit 451 was another recent favourite. saw 'carnage', by roman polanski, in the movie hall, yesterday. absolutely loved that one too. what's eating gilbert grape, heavenly creatures, were some others i enjoyed.

hope to watch many more movies this year.

:)

taking stock after a year...

it's funny how you seem to learn so much more when you take off from work.

when you take a year off. when you are not in a typical school.

the last one year i have been working.

i realised i have not written much. i moved from one top advertising agency to another within that one year. i have worked on a distance education brand, an instant pasta and noodle brand, a chewing gum and bubble gum brand, a fashion retail brand, a fashion brand, a real estate brand, and a stationery brand. i guess i know quite a bit about these brands, their competitors and those who consume those brands.

to give myself credit i have read quite a bit. non- brand, non- advertising stuff.

roland barthes- camera lucida, bertrand russell- marriage and morals, some asterix comic books, joseph campbell- the power of myths, devdutt patnaik- myth vs mithia, marguerite duras- moderato cantabile, some malayalam novels by vaikom mohammad basheer, zachariah, m.t. vasudevan nair...

the most interesting development has been that i have tried my hand at cooking. and i realised i m not horrible at it. i make food that is edible, even liked by some people, :) some say its really nice.

i dabble with paint as well. a few small canvases have been completed, some gifted to friends, some forcefully taken by friends :)

writing somehow has taken a backseat, i shall try to do this more often yet again.

but the key learning this year has been that, learning is lesser when you are working. i like the learning that happens when i am not working. :(

Back to Bangalore

I got back to Bangalore.

Feels like I have come back home.

My awesome flatmate still has a room free for me, so hey, I am back in the same old house with the same old flatmate, in the same old city.

And wait that's not all. After trying so hard to get a job in random, inexplicable areas of interest, and then getting back to my earlier field and visiting every possible advertising agency big and small, my old job comes a'calling. I have no clue why I did not think of that first.

So yes, back to where I was working, where I was living, with who I was living in my favourite city.

Buddhist leanings

Just when I thought I was almost agnostic... I learn more about Buddhism. One of my professors was Buddhist, but he did not preach Buddhism at all. Two of my friends research on iconography in Buddhist art and Buddhist settlements for their final project.

My ex roomie from Bombay visited me. She gifted me a book called 'The Buddha in your Mirror'. I am enjoying the book. And I can feel myself leaning towards the Buddhist principles and thoughts.

Moreover, I like the colour symbolism in Buddhism. The Buddhist colours are red, yellow, white, black, green and blue. (blue and black are sometimes interchangeable in Buddhist colour symbolism)

Wayanad

All women's trip to Wayanad.

Me, my mom, my friend and her mom (who happens to be my mom's friend)- deadly combination.

Took ages to reach the place we were staying at, but it ended up being an awesome place. Treehouses, lots of greenery, on the waterfront, many animals walking all around the property and great food for all meals.

We visited Edakkal Caves- the much talked about caves with one of the oldest carvings and paintings in the country. The climb up was strenuous but totally worth it.

Meenmutty Falls were also beautiful, especially in the monsoon weather.

I recommend a trip to Wayanad to all those who love green and blue :)